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Odds are, you are reading this post because you linked over to it from your social media account. More than likely, you are a fellow runner who has connected with us, or you are one of our friends who is curious about what we may have to say today. Either way, my hunch is that this will speak to you. I love making new connections with other runners, seeing their training and race accomplishments, comparing training plans, discussions of the gear they are using, or just pictures of them running and doing their thing. It draws me and it feels like we have a shared experience, a common connection, and makes it easier to interact with like-minded others.

Thank you to those who motivate and inspire me to push harder and adapt training ideas. To learn new workouts and approaches to recovery and nutrition (both of which I am horrible at). 

And yet, there are days I just hate you. 

Yeah, You Read that Right

Not going to lie. You make me mad. When I see some of the things you can do it makes me feel bad about myself and question all that I am doing, or not doing. You make it look easy. You make it look like you could run for days without even breaking a sweat. But, I also know that you aren’t the problem. It is me. I sometimes fall into the trap of comparison. 

Instead of being motivated by your accomplishments, when I fall into the comparison trap, it becomes unhealthy and has a negative impact on my training and views of myself. 

President Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. When we move from being motivated by others to comparing ourselves to them, we sacrifice all that we have accomplished for the sake of something we don’t have. This could be in seeing a fellow runner who runs faster, further, etc etc., or could be in seeing posts of our friends that are traveling to places we always wanted to go, or having things we don’t have. In all cases, the trap forces us to give up what we do have for what we don’t.

Comparison: The Good and the Bad

Measuring yourself against someone else is not always a bad thing. Again, it often inspires us and motivates us. A healthy response of comparing yourself to others is when it leads you to action to pursue your personal goals with more intensity or intentionality than before. When you see what others are doing and it inspires you to lace up and get out the door, it is a positive. 

But, when you are left feeling inferior, or depressed and not motivated to pursue your own personal goals, measuring yourself to others is a bad thing. For some of us, this can result in us believing our goals are not possible or that we don’t have what it takes to pursue them. This is far from the truth though.

Breaking Free of the Comparison Trap

If you find yourself caught in the comparison trap, there are a couple of things that you can do. To be fully transparent, I do these well some times, and then other times, I find myself stuck in the trap trying to figure out how I ended up there again.

Block It All Out

First and foremost, you have to put on some quick blinders to block out what is bringing you down. Throw the cone of shame on your head and either unfollow, turn off the social media, or whatever you have to do to get out of that immediate distraction. Remember, it isn’t anything wrong with the person and what you respect or admire about them, it is about you and how you are personalizing that difference to be a shortcoming of who you are. Blocking out others for a period of time allows you to regain focus to what your goals are and what is ahead for you.

Speaking of Goals

Once you have removed the immediate distractions, remind yourself. What are your goals? Not what are the other person’s goals. Your goals are not their goals. They seldom are the exact same as someone else. If your goal is to finish your first 5k, then why feel bad about yourself when you see a friend training to run a marathon. Your goal was your goal before you started worrying about what they were doing. With your blinders on, reconnect to YOUR goal or your purpose.

Reach Out

Now here is the hard one. Yeah, yeah I know. The other two may feel hard. But this next one will truly help you move through it. If there are those that you know either through social media (even if they are on the other side of the globe), or if it is someone in your local community, reach out to them. That’s right. Reach out to them. Not like a creepy stalker or anything like that. But to ask them about their training, their struggles, their successes.

With the hundreds or thousands of “followers” that many of us have, why is it that we don’t maximize those relationships a little bit more. You have, at your fingertips, the chance to grow more in the areas that you are interested in. And, you will find that the person you fell into the comparison trap is very much like you. They have their own struggles and challenges that you don’t see and you can learn from. 

Note of caution here though. The goal isn’t to incorporate all their actions as your own and definitely not to make their goals yours. But, it is to understand what makes them tick, and to grow more toward your goal. Some things they do will help and other things will not. Choose wisely what you listen to. 

Time to Self-Assess

Now that you know what to do about how you feel, take some time to do a personal audit of all the pieces of information that you are listening to. What interactions are encouraging you or uplifting you? Are there individuals you follow where you routinely feel bad about yourself? It’s not personal, but feel free to unfollow them. It is for your sanity, not theirs. Odds are, they probably won’t notice in the first place. And, if they do, well just let them know that you admire them too much. 

You do You

In a nutshell, you do you. That’s it. Put your blinders on, focus on your goals, reach out to those that inspire you, and take some time to self-assess. Who should go and who gets your attention? 

I would love to hear from you. Ever fall into the trap? If so, what have you done in the past to break free? 

Feel free to leave a comment below, catch up with me on Instagram at @winchesterjeff or send an email to [email protected]’t forget to head over to our Video and Blog pages for more content!